


A Way To Communicate

by JustGalactic



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, whatever floats your boat, written as platonic but like. don't take too much squinting to read it as romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 09:15:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15748710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustGalactic/pseuds/JustGalactic
Summary: Being on an audio medium, Sammy and Ben have learned to communicate without noise. A glance, a smirk, a roll of the eyes, they've mastered it all. But sometimes a facial expression just won't do. Sometimes they need more, they need support, they need comfort.





	A Way To Communicate

Being on an audio medium, Sammy and Ben have learned to communicate without noise.

Especially in the wake of Emily's abduction, Ben needed a way to talk to Sammy. When things got too much, when Greg's words felt like knives, when the thought of Emily was too much, he'd lay his hand on the table. Immediately, Sammy would take it, and squeeze his hand, holding it until Ben let go.

The first time it happened, Greg Frickard said her name and Ben was so, so anrgy. He put his hand on the table as he started to spit insults at Greg through the microphone. Sammy just looked warily at Ben's oddly placed hand. With a roll of his eyes and a sigh that he hoped wasn't picked up by the microphones, Ben grabbed Sammy's hand and squeezed it tight.

Sammy made a mental note of what to do if Ben ever did it again.

And boy, was he glad he'd made that mental note, because someone said Emily's name, and Ben's hand was on the table. Within moments, Sammy's hand was wrapped around his.

The next time Greg Frickard's voice came across the phone, Sammy's hand was on the table, waiting for Ben's hand before Ben even realized what was happening.

When Ben brought Emily back, the night he heard her voice over the hotline, Ben put his shaking hand on the table. Even Sammy's firm grip couldn't stop the trembling in Ben's fingers.

On his second Sammiversary, Sammy heard Mayor Grisham say his name, and he felt his stomach drop as he heard his own damn voice over the speakers. 'Shotgun Sammy' had been something he'd so wanted to leave behind, but of course that son of a bitch had to dig it up. Ben was frozen, staring at his friend. Sammy, face red and mind reeling, put his hand on the table. Ben squeezed it tight until the commercial ended and Sammy left the studio.

And then, while Sammy was outside, Emily asked Ben that damn question. Asked him why she lied to her. Ben wanted to tell her that she'd been gaslit, not by him but by Frickard, but Ben swallowed his pride and stumbled through an apology. As things got tough, Ben put his hand on the table, but it started trembling when he realized Sammy wasn't even in the room. Sammy was safe, just right outside, but he felt so far away.

And even when Sammy was back, he was still standing so far away, and Ben's world was crashing down, and he was just reaching. Reaching for words to say to Emily, reaching for Sammy's hand, but he was so far away and Ben was shaking so much that Sammy couldn't even tell what Ben wanted and Ben wasn't even sure what he wanted... And Ben was just reaching.

But finally, Greg and Emily left, and Sammy sat back in his chair and Ben was still reaching, but he finally found something solid to hold. Sammy and Ben sat there, their hands holding each other tight, but it wasn't enough. Ben was still shaking, he was sobbing, and they both knew it wasn't enough. Sammy pulled him into a hug. Ben's fingers clawed at Sammy's back, grabbing onto his shirt as he just sat there and cried.

And then things were getting back to normal, and Ron was in the studio, and the three of them were talking- and then Emily called. Hearing her voice, hearing her call him Benny, it was almost too much. Sammy quickly offered to leave, but Ben begged him to stay, practically throwing his hand onto the table. Sammy looked at the desperation in Ben's eyes, and then down at the table, and he knew. He grabbed Ben's hand, squeezed it, and they listened to Emily's call.

And then Lily Wright was on the line, and Ben realized within moments that he'd fucked up. He reached for Sammy's hand, and Sammy all but swatted it away as he left the station. Ben felt a pit in his stomach as he talked to the journalist.

The entire time she interviewed them, Sammy's arms were crossed. Ben offered a hand to him, and he just scoffed, angling himself away from his co-host.

And then things went back to as normal as you could get in King Falls.

Except for the fact that Sammy wasn't holding Ben's hand. Even if he put it on the table, Sammy would just stare Ben in the eyes, refusing to look down. And when Lily Wright was mentioned, or when they argued about The Science Institute, Ben would reach for Sammy's hand, and Sammy would just continue to stare at Ben's face, keeping his arms crossed.

And then those Mission Apparition asshats just had to mention fucking Shotgun Sammy, and the second the words were out of their mouths, Ben felt Sammy's hand under the desk, blindly reaching for Ben's already open palm. Ben would be lying if he said it didn't feel a little nice to have this bit of their friendship back.

But, of course, Ben had to go and fuck it up by mentioning Shotgun after the two douchebags had left. Sure it stung that he knew nothing about 'Shotgun Sammy,' but it stung even more when Sammy yanked his hand away at Ben's words.

Later that night, when Debbie zapped their power and the lights flickered off, Sammy's hand practically shot into Ben's grip.

When Debbie started to rant and rave and all but raise hell in their studio, Sammy Stevens was clinging to Ben like a life raft. But as soon as Ben realized Sammy was hiding something, something big, something about Emily, he backed away, leaving the broken Sammy to try to support his own weight.

And every time someone mentioned Shotgun Sammy, Sammy had been able to reach out for Ben, hide behind his bulletproof vest. But whenever it was Ben pulling the trigger of that awful reminder, there was nowhere for Sammy to hide. And every time that name came in the form of his best friend's voice, Sammy felt another bullet fly straight through his heart.

And, once again, it was relatively normal. Once in a while, when Frickard was too much, Sammy would squeeze Ben's hand, and it'd feel alright.

And then Greg opened his dumbass mouth on live radio, he dared say Jack's name with his vile voice, and Sammy was seeing red. It felt like he took the passenger seat in his own body for a moment, he felt his fists connect with the radio equipment, but Sammy knew he wasn't in control. When he was back behind the wheel, Sammy collapsed into his chair, unsure what to do, what to say. Ben swallowed nervously, took a deep breath, and grabbed Sammy's hand.

"Look at me. It's okay," he assured Sammy.

But it wasn't okay, not by a long shot. Sammy was practically shaking, he tried to worm his way out of Ben's grip, there was no way this could be real. Ben had to be faking, had to be pretending to care, nobody had ever opened their hearts to him when they'd learned, why would Ben be any different? He tried to stand, but Ben held on tight to his arm.

"Dude, I love you no matter what, you hear me?"

These words, they couldn't be real, Sammy just couldn't believe Ben would take it so well. People loved him, Ben loved him, but there was always a limit to how far that love could stretch. And every time Sammy was outed, he found the limit of that love. He refused to let himself believe that this would be different.

Sammy and Ben sat there, their hands holding each other tight, but it wasn't enough. Sammy was still shaking, he was sobbing, and they both knew it wasn't enough. Ben pulled him into a hug. Sammy went practically limp in Ben's arms, tears staining Ben's shirt as he just sat there and cried.

And then Sammy was talking about leaving King Falls, and even though he was holding onto Ben so tightly, his mind was miles away, and Ben could tell.

"Cronkite. Brokaw. Ben Arnold."

And he was gone. And Ben's world was crashing down around him, and Sammy was just fucking gone.

And even when Sammy was back in the studio, he was still already long gone. Ben begged, pleaded for him to stay. Sammy refused. Every time Ben got a little too angry, every time Sammy felt that ache in his heart, they'd place their hand on the table, only to pull it back immediately, remembering that the person they wanted comfort from was also the person breaking their heart.

The next time Ben felt Sammy's hand on his skin, Sammy was grabbing his arm in a vice-like grip and ordering him not to go anywhere with Gunderson. It wasn't comforting, it wasn't gentle. It was protective, it was angry.

And now Sammy's in the car, driving, driving, and all these memories flash through Ben's mind as he begs Sammy to stay- but his mind freezes in its tracks when he hears Sammy say the word "UFO."

Ben is on the verge of tears, it's like everything around him is gone. His ears are ringing, and he can barely hear Emily or Troy. His breath is coming so quickly, and he can feel his heart beating at a mile a minute. And then there are his hands. His damn hands are shaking, vibrating, and, just acting on instinct, Ben puts his hand on the table.

When nothing grabs it, when nothing is there to comfort him, Ben feels himself start to cry. He can hear Sammy's screaming, Sammy's voice, all his damn brain can think about is "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy."

When Ben hears the crash, when the phone call drops off, he's left with silence, save for the sound of his heart beating out of his chest.

Ben practically turns into a statue. Even Emily can't snap him out of it. Finally, she gets him to talk, to move. Even so, the whole time, Ben Arnold's trembling hand stays firmly on the table, almost as if he's waiting for something.

Or someone.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on tumblr @galacticallynonbinary, where all my most recent posts are me sobbing over King Falls! it was a fool's decision to binge the whole damn thing in two days. i can literally hear that theme song everywhere.


End file.
